Relationship Rambles

She can easily find a better guy

Happy sweetness Peace of pie

Taller more handsome than I

She's a knockout right in the eye.

She's got me others got none

We're still just friends having fun

I'm that case I feel color runs

Down her face he left blue bumps.

You see my conundrum

The life not so humdrum

Singing for myself in a band

Futures bright health be a man

Demi attractive sexually

Doesn't matter actually

Could it be to me perfectly

Where in life I want to be?

Don't get too close. But don't be too far.

This balancing emotions is very hard.

Take a trip to the local bar.

Drive to mountains in my car.

Idk if they like me that way.

Taking things slow is ok.

Don't get ahead of myself.

Unless you want to head yourself.

Your mans hand is used against you

I just want to lay against you

Run from the tyranny tears she's shed

Run away from the pain that fears fed

I see you as my future one and only

But I gotta take time to better know me

You are a fantasy figment of my reality

Testing my actions and distractions had to be

I haven't known myself for years

Weekends with some buds not beers.

She's helpped me through jeer and cheers

Through lots of fear and tears.

For my own kind my own peace of mind

Before I can vibe with my tribe and cheer.

This has been a tough week for me. You can kind of guess what's going on. The fact they are all serious when they mean you gotta love yourself before you love somebody else is far deeper of a concept than I expected. I have to still keep going one day at a time no matter how bad I just want to give up.

All I gotta say is to this woman that I am sorry. You are right. I have to work on myself. I'm getting on meds with no shame anymore. My happiness is my job. I adore you in so many ways but I'm not going to hold you responsible for the way I feel. You added to my happiness as much as you could even though I was dragging myself down and thinking I wasn't worthy of the realest love I have every had.