CREATE and MOTIVATE!
I had a private live stream on my Facebook the other day. I needed to shake out some artistic nerves. From a bag of suggestions I took 2 strips and combined the ideas into a drawing. I created 2 pictures.
The first were space and birds. The second were triangle and aliens. I used pencil to sketch ink pens for the outline then pastels for the color.
I hated who I was.
I didn't see the blessed be above.
My vice was my substitution for love.
Made me feel normal who I was.
Feeling low on the dominance hierarchy.
Like Jordan Peterson psychology.
I have performance social anxiety
Self compassion wasnt a priotory.
Got to be my best self not live in the past don't want to be a part of a caste cast.
Of my journey plays out like a movie.
Did she think she really knew me?
Screw me you had the last laugh
Traveling and unraveling half assed and half fast.
Destroy your BS your big snooze.
Grab myself a bowl and booze.
Sure drink to fade away the blues.
Mind goes on a cruise Peace be with you.
Be silly honest kind and true.
To yourself and everyone around you.
I want to be my self not live in the past don't want to be a part of a caste cast.
Of my journey plays out like a movie.
Did she think she really knew me?
Screw me you had the last laugh
Traveling and unraveling half assed and half fast.
I use my song as away
to say what I don't day to day.
Okay dokay layday it's payday.
I'll take you to a vaycay at Chipotle
get extra guacamole you deserve it.
maye be its maybeline
Trip to Lorel Paris
Because you're worth it.
These words come to me from experience in the past.
And maybe some inspiration form puff puff pass.
They say that nice guys finish last but real nice guys finish last.
Sit down lawnmower cutting the grass
I want to be my self not live in the past don't want to be a part of a caste cast.
Of my journey plays out like a movie.
Did she think she really knew me?
Screw me you had the last laugh
Traveling and unraveling half assed and half fast
Through the smoke I see the real me
Personally who i am supposed to be.
I want to feel alive!
No woman no cry.
No lady by my side
I've got good friends and good vibes.
I fear being alone.
Oh I fear a lot take me
I don't let it make me
Someone I'm not.
I live for me and only me.
That may sound selfish.
I'm not hurting others
Sitting eating shellfish.
Life is suffering suffering.
Brain is buffering buffering.
Along I keep shuffling shuffling.
Speech mumbling muffleing.
I help my self where I can.
Others help me out too.
If you want nothing to do.
Sell me out Screw you.
Life is suffering suffering.
Brain is buffering buffering.
Along I keep shuffling shuffling.
Speech Discussing mumbling muffleing.
I fake confidence.
I want to burst into tears.
All alone facing my greatest fears.
Don't let the darkness get to me.
False courage. False hope.
Distracting me.
Emotional reactions to my actions.
Decides us into opposing factions.
Life is not suffering suffering.
Brain will stop buffering buffering.
Along I keep shuffling shuffling.
Busy bee keep buzzing bumbling.
Self portrait sketch of Paco and I.
I am not who I think I am. I am who I think you think I am.
One foot up escalator keep winning
Barbecue for me and you hot wingin
Im on stage but you the one singin
like my dairy cheese please be stringin
Stoned slasher hash slinging
Trash the stash digging
door flash dash ringing
Wear sash crown blinging...
Wearing them up
Throw your shade I'll block the sun.
You think you control my game
I'm the one who won
from the undone of societies top one
The percent of
The president of
sets presidence of
Our pestulent love.
I'm not who I think I am. I am who I think you think I am.
Odd I even give a damn.
Put my mask on Instagram.
I can't tell who I really am.
Perfected misdirect kablam.
I am who I think you think I am.
I'm not who I thought I was.
Were all flawed humans.
We wish to spread out our wings
We already float on tightrope things.
Mast puppeteer cut me loose
Give me a life where I can choose
Take that shame take that blame
Cut me loose to win the game
Highly awake
In natures space.
Can't look at you
They hate your face.
In the new world
Be me and you girl.
Float on the wind
Well give it a whirl.
I'm not who I think I am. I am who I think you think I am.
I’m ready. Here we go. Every Saturday and Sunday I'm going to try to post either one of my scraps and one of my sketches. You heard it here folks!
Every Saturday there will be an original poem or lyric posted to this blog. Every Sunday there will be a sketch or art of some sort posted. Will I commit to this and see it through? Who knows! Follow along and find out where this could possibly go!
I have been holding myself back with fear and anxiety for long enough. I recently lost my job. Initiative was a big reason I was let go. Man did that take a lot out of me. But it's not breaking me down but building me up and pushing me.
Enough chit chat. Thanks for checking in.
If I can moo it… You Can Moo It!
Can't see the Forest, through the trees.
Blinded eye lids succeed the disease.
Upon the Earth upon the skies!
Down in a hole broke choked died...
Peek in between fingers They seek and you hide
...
Over the moon for a good vibration
Don't give up the fight in your head
Know our seeds grow happy trees
Anything else go to bed
...
Our healing here is only temporary.
Why not make the hero ordinary.
All of that smoke has disappeared
All the memories switching gears
All of it is a mindset
reframing the fears
...
Over the moon for a good vibration
Don't give up the fight in your head
Know our seeds grow happy trees
Anything else go to bed
...
Replace the time, escape your self
Erase yourself draw the line
Replace the time escape your self
Copy and paste, in case of health
Lock box stop, encase your wealth
...
I'm going under so insecure
Under the sea to the see floor
Bust my myth with some c4
........
Addicted to that dopamine chemical
I need me a medical professional
This decisions not flexible inevitable
........
Permission to feel physical anxiety
Cant control what goes in and outta me
All I see is red lazy river i will be
........
Taking away your power of gladness
Due to my own excess of sadness
Manifests into external maddness
...
Over the moon for a good vibration
Don't give up the fight in your head
Know our seeds grow happy trees
Anything else go to bed
D A B B7
Sometimes I feel like I'm everyone's daddy
Feel like a golfer with out their own caddy
Its not my job to make all of them happy
But man I am so super I will do that gladly
B A D D7
Hate it so much to see other suffer
Do not like glue so use a rubber
Be a rowboat with no rudder
I'm a space whale love's my blubber
D A D D7
To those with none or one on father's day
If they are close or if they are far away
A parent to you you gotta be
Take your time the martyrs way
A D D x
Take me away to those promise lands
Create a future with my hands
We are all just getting by setting our own scene
We're all just making pretty pictures to be seen
D A B B7
It hurts like a curse but feels way worse
Want to be an ostrich head in the dirt
It's no marathon won't come in first
Don't be scared so quench your thirst
B A D D7
I don't feel like Jesus I feel like a Judas
Needed my help the truth Is ruthless
Can't save them all feeling so useless
Enter the dragon but my bite is toothless
D A D D7
O places we'll go walk swim or drive
To be the perfect dad I will now strive
For those around those who alone cry
Be thankful you're here and that you're alive
A D D X
Take me away to those promise lands
Create a proud future with my hands
We are all just getting by setting our own scene
We're all just making pretty pictures to be seen…
White //
Inner demons wrestling
Elbow drop stop obsessing
Too much clutter it's upsetting
Gotta count all of my blessings
Head in a vise body under arrest
Pulling heart strings outta my chest
You gotta problem with how I feel
Say it straight up make it real
I know I've wasted the years
Tried and tied down my fears
Holding back all the tears
Escaped that place and im still here
All of this goes on for days
Frozen stuck in my old ways
I need me to break through
I need me to speak to all of you
...
Lifes a game then I'm not playing...
All aboard I'm bored of praying...
Knifes a shame stuck in the sand...
But responsibly will make this man
...
Marching halls through corridors
We are one for all for sure
Just gotta open more doors
Walking simply through Mordor
Those unknown faces judging
Scowls frowns no budging
All sour not sweet loving
Get the hint poke poke nudging
Others opinions worth nothing
Gotta save time I'm adjusting
Don't care enough light dusting
Confidence sense be busting
Evolution ended reborn
Wounds upended retorn
Step by step forewarn
Old me passed we mourn
...
Lifes a game? I'm not playing
All aboard the board before playing
Loving it up when I can
But responsibly still makes the man
...
My family is big into get togethers. For years we spend holidays and barbeque all around the food table updating us all about what we've been up to. My uncle on my mom's side has been diagnosed with Alzheimer's. He took the moment to make my dish even more beautiful and added some greenery from a leaf that feel of the tree. We all find art and beauty is so many thing in life. I took a good moment to savor this time we all had. Find that beauty and make some more. Spread the love and listen to the moment to really take it in. These days are so scarce I don't need anything else because this was a perfect day. It really was something special.
This personal project was a little challenge for myself to create a comic cover. The character is an original raven spirit connected antihero. A separate version of this character can be seen in my Orion page with my more traditional work.
A little back story…
Soul bound by the Old Gods at birth Eddy Raven is Nevermore. Chosen to protect this universe from the New Evil, Eddy becomes Nevermore with the power of the moon.
A dork a nerd a geek if you will, Eddy stumbled upon numerous black feathers and appearances of crows throughout his life at significant events. Some such as the passing of his grandmother and one of his closest friend to unknown reasons.
Heightened intuition exceptional martial arts ability and under the moonlight his wings grow cosmic feathers inhabited by spirits of the Old Gods as his guide.
To defeat the New Evil and find the answers he seeks, Eddy must overcome it all. He will. He must. Evil shall triumph Nevermore. Tap tap tap.
Sorry not sorry for the artistic nudity. While in college I had a drawing class where a big part of it was full form nude charcoal sketching. Like a lot of it. But it truly made me a better artist oh a personal level. I created this drawing on a whim because I missed those classes. You zone out and spend a good 5 minutes on a dudes junk lol. Good times.
Model is @blunnderland on instagram.
Making another upgrade to one of my ink drawings from a while back with a poem. Here is a WIP shot of what will be. For some reason I have been seeing whales. Everywhere. Like it was unhealthy. But it was a sign in my opinion to create. So here we go until next time…
…Don't think I knew that Thought it was true but Closing of the door Before I even knew it
Im Painting my future the color of FUCHSIA If I don't see tomorrow I have seen right through it Farmer in the mortadella Dead computer morte della Farther stretches mozzarella
She's my dairy Cinderella I'm doing so well oh well lie I can never tella Twilight like pavlov Ringing of that bella….
... I don't need much You're all I really need Rolling that dutch Blame it all on the weed
Brady the bunch Cards drawn pot of greed Call it a hunch Ride on a noble steed
Hi ho silver awayyy But I can not sayyy
Hi ho silver awayyy And you can not stayyy ...
…Feeling or thinking Pull my reigns I'm sinking Clean up your mess I fear it is stinking
I'm cleaning my closet What my minds been caught in Clears fears Thoughts Locked up
bought in It's time to step up Coffees in my cup Taking a sip by the drip for that good luck
Let's make those big bucks Touring with big trucks Cruising around town lock down what's up?…
... As I despise to comprise
With all that wants to stay inside
The clock is set this is my time
To be myself start to unwind
Out of the dark to be the light
For all of those who run and hide
Inside my soul I stroll to find
I am the sun that rose to shine…
…Chose only ways I know to help
My other brother on that shelf
I am not rich but I got wealth
Divides the insides feels like hell
Decide the divine is in myself
So here it is what I have felt
Before they can all be saved
I'll have to save myself…
…So you have the audacity
To poke fun at this tragedy
Said you did what had to be
Done you won turn your back to me
What was done the sad in me
Drought in my ducts dried up in me
Bringing some peace to the calamity
This Ideocentricity…
…This my true self authenticity
Swirls my world psychologically
No longer anonymously
Im starting to say what I see
Death always will come for me
For all a possibility
I am breaking free
Of all my Anxiety...
…I don't need much You're all I really need Rolling that dutch Blame it on the weed
Brady the bunch Cards drawn pot of greed Call it hunch Ride on noble steed
Hi ho silver awayyy But I can not sayyy
Hi ho silver awayyy And you can not stayyy…
Storytime Sunday!!!
From The Author as well as Chapter 1 of the book "ALIAS ADAM." This is an extra special novella written by my Papa. It currently has a sequel too. Give it a listen! Uploads for other chapters will be posted not every week but biweekly. So stay tuned!
PS Ignore my pet birds. They just want to feel included.
I got myself a weird brain. While working as a deli clerk I found a couple of special circumstances where something is seen out of nowhere. For example, the first was a stack of turkey I was packing for grab and go that I had to get a picture of. It reminded me of a dragon in a cave. The second was a smear after I took a pile of cheese off of a year sheet that looks so close to a penguin or owl of sorts. I'm not crazy but I used to thing there were eyes in the wooden door aty house as a child that would scare me. Good to know I'm still seeing things in other things. A weird way of looking at a cloud and seeing a fish I see penguins in cheese. Cherry on top of my weird brain, fun fact I would bite cheese slices as a kid into different states… so there's that…
This drawing is one of my favorites I have done recently. Currently I am working this image into my monthly test project I'm trying out. It was created in one of those lazy and hazy late nights. I have fallen for the lovely like drawings of landscapes as well as the exploding frame effect. I have since a kid put my drawings in my notebooks in a rectangle bit never went out out of the comfort zone. So this was a start to an artistic redemption per se. The eye image developed organicly in my mind as my artistic eye in a away. I'm very happy with how it came out. I usually stop at this point in fear of messing it up. After the sketch inking phase I'm starting to open up more and getting more comfortable with my art and my reality. Much love to you all.
I practiced martial arts for 15 years from the age of 7 up until my college years. When Kung Fu Panda came out I fell in love. Especially with the voice of Jack Black because I was obsessed with Tenacious D as we're my friends who took karate with me as well as went to a couple of concerts too. I used a sharpie and a gold marker as well even though my karate styles colors were black and red. A had a small canvas I wanted to make something on it. So here we got Po up top a mountain in a front position stance.
Watching a video with artist Kim Jung Gi on the Proko channel on YouTube, inspired me to draw my environment and what I saw from my field of view in real life. So here is a sketch of me sitting down on the floor in my living room.